Dirty Boy

I just love to see Lukus come home from football practice, soaking wet, caked with dirt, and limping. And then this is what he says "Dad, you know those spikes on the bottom of my shoes. Someone stepped on me with a pair, but I am ok, it was great." I wish that I could show you a picture, however I have not asked my brillant wife to show me how.

Chad

A new year...

Some of us think a new year starts Jan. 1 st. Not I, for me it starts this Monday. The kids go back to school, Brenda starts up her hectic class schedule, and I have to say "no more overtime for me". Back to the role of getting the kids up and ready for school every morning, helping around the house more(since I am not working 60 hours a week anymore), homework, maybe football practice, etc... However I will say that I enjoy the schedule better. And I believe it works well for all of us in the end.

Chad

Hurdles!?

With God all things are possible.....

This was are main topic at camp this weekend, and boy did I find out the true meaning of it.

I have very low self esteem....however I got in front of 100 people and lead group games.

I always want to be very prepared....ahhhh not going to happen when you have 68 campers under the age of 12.

It might not show,but I can be a control freak at times....I had 7 campers in my group and almost all of them had to take some sort of medication....so control is gone and all that I am left with is a freak....ouch.

I am afraid of failing.....to much love for that to happen...thanks to everyone

This was my first time to go to church camp...ever as a child and adult....I will be going back next year...and maybe more than once a year.

Hardest thing to do at camp....lead mission squads....I plan on asking if I can lead some kids class on sundays'

Father of Friend?.....Which one for which situation?....let our Father lead and be a man of God.

A hurdle is a hurdle....what makes a hurdle tough is if you set it to high(goals, plans, expectations, wants, wishes, etc...)

Its been a good week with many challenges, but thanks to good friends and most of all a loving Father. I know that I will be ok.

Chad

Dude....its been over a year since my last post. Ouch...I am an old bag of bones.

Chadwick

The game master!!!!

All I can say is" I am so excited about this weekend". I will be helping out this weekend at our Jr. Camp retreat, outing, camping...or whatever you want to call it. I am just looking forward to it. What is funny about it, is that I am most looking forward to being in charge of the evening game time for all the campers. I am also really nervous about it. Where to start, what to do, and what to bring. I have so many fun ideas, but what will the kids think? I sometimes go overboard with the planning....ok almost all the time. However my heart is in the right place, I just want the kids to have a blast and be looking forward to camp every year. This is the first year for me and the third for Brenda, Lukus, and Emilie. I hope I can keep up.

My plan is to follow my heart and let God show me how to have fun like a kid again. And to be a patient and loving leader to the campers. To allow my fears and anxieties to disappear, and to be replaced with peace and passion.


Now lets go have fun....Whoppee!!!!!!!!!!

Chadwick

Letting go........

Why is it so hard........when I try to let go it feels like my heart stops beating. Almost like this overwhelming fear takes over and I just give up. I feel short of breath, and my eyes fill up with more pain than sorrow. I just want to run and run and run and never look back.

When I speak of letting go. I am talking about the past and what hurts the most, not the loss of a loved one or losing a good friend. My heart still struggles with a very old wound that I have carried around for too long. I thought that I had dealt with it quite some time ago, however I think that I was still hoping for a miracle to come. Acceptance is all that I want, from the one person that I cant get it from. Today my therapist told me what if you can't and never get it...I have heard this from everyone. You know those that love me the most have been telling me this for quite sometime...my wife has said it the most(I love you Brenda).

How do you forgive yourself. How do you ask for help to let it go...and move on and not let it ruin your life. How do you ask God to take this pain from my spirit. I am scared. I don't know how to do it, or maybe I just don't want to do it and just keep hoping for a miracle.

This weekend I saw my granny, it must have been about 7 years since we last saw each other. If anyone has ever accepted me it was her, she never looked at my faults she just loved me. Good Lord I am going to miss her when she is gone.

I just want to move on and be the man that God wants me to be, to love and accept like my granny, be passionate like my wife, and laugh like my kids.

Chad

I am a good dad, man, and loving husband

Granny What

If there is one relative in my life that means the most to me it would be my Granny What. This is my mothers mom....my granny. Someone whom I love very much. It was about a week ago that I got a call from my family that she had fell at her apartment, the sad part about it is that she was there several hours before anyone found her. Since then its been an up and down roller coaster ride, one day she is fine the next day it seems the worse is going to happen. I am sure that it doesnt help when the info is coming from my mom...Bless her heart, but my mom has a way of looking at all situations as "this is bad".

My granny is 92 years old and has been trucking along on her own with 4 kids for well over 60 plus years. My grandfather whom I have never met, well I did however I was only several months old. He past on when I was about 18 months. My granny never talks about him, and from the stuff people tell me its probably for the best that I dont know.

There is a moral here somewhere for me....it simple states that maybe I didnt have any really good father(male) figures in my life at least I had some awesome women to encourage me.....my granmothers, my mom, and my wife(i would not be blogging if it wasnt for Brenda)....

Anyways back to my granny.....she is the true meaning of Love and Patience. She raised 4 kids, worked several jobs to support her kids with no other financial help, took care of the house, and get this almost never..and I mean never lost het patience. I have never seen her angry, even after spending almost two whole weeks with my 3 highly active children...maybe when I get frustrated I should and think what would granny do.

For as long as I can remember she has been doing journals..writing down her thoughts for the day...everyday, and I mean everyday. Wow....I mean I have a hard time even praying to God for 30 seconds and I am sure that she spends a minimum of one hour everyday writing. I guess it has been close to 30 years that she has been doing it....I can only imagine how many books of thoughts she has filled up.

I want to continue, however I am getting a little upset I just wanted to share a little about my family...

Thanks for reading....actually it feels good just to write and get it out of my head...

Chad
"I am a Good Dad, Husband, and Man"